So I say hello to you 2022

So I say hello to you 2022

Hello 2022!

What an interesting start to the year it has been.

I finished drawing the Wedge Tail Eagle drawing. I can’t believe it. I look at it and cannot comprehend that I have accomplished such a piece. I stand back and stare at it. Looking at all the small details that add up to be this incredible image of the largest bird of prey in Australia.

Keeping with this Australian animal theme, I have started work on an Echidna. I am trying a new paper out for this guy.. Stonehenge paper is a 100% cotton, acid-free, pH neutral, sized paper with 2 deckled edges. These guys don’t do standard paper sizes and this one is nearly A1 size.
This is the largest piece of paper I have drawn on.
When I rolled it out flat on my art desk, well, it only fit landscape. I couldn’t draw in portrait, the way I had envisioned the piece to look like.
I’ve been thinking about a large easel for awhile. The prices had me steering clear as I just couldn’t afford it yet. Mr Echidna changed my mind and I decided to have a look for a second hand one on Facebook marketplace. Of course you wouldn’t believe it, 2 minutes of searching and I had found one, local to me, for a quarter of the price and practically brand new. It has worked out perfectly. I also got a large piece of MDF board for $12 as my back board.
Now the mission to get this rather large easel and 1200x1000mm board into my car and get it home, now that was hilarious!!! 

Christmas 2021 has been and gone. It was amazing to see my family, and Mum’s side of the family, my cousins and their kids. I finally got back up to NSW to spend time with my parents, and to finally see my little ones for the first time in a year. (Yeah thanks Covid!). It is absolute pure joy to watch these kids run around, play and explore this world and see their personalities shine.
I cannot explain the happiness I feel when I get to join in, to be part of the imagination and laughter they are full of. I love being an Aunty, or Aunty like figure to several of my friends' kids. I am not sure if it’s because I cannot have kids myself or that I am just a big kid at heart that loves to let loose my imagination. Laughter is a major key. I love to laugh. Life I feel is just too short not to live and laugh to the fullest. 

It was hard to leave the town near Mum’s old family farm. Not knowing when I would see these beautiful people again. Wondering when I would get to spend quality time with my niece and nephew. Curious to know when I would next be home with my parents. Speculating on a conflict I am completely in the dark about.

It was harder still to return to this small town in Victoria I now called home. No one to greet me after the 5 hour drive. Hot and humid, Nemo, the fur ball cat was in no mood for cuddles.
I couldn’t even race out my back door and around to my neighbours to see the family of 5 as they are off for a month long house swap holiday. Of course being Christmas and New Years holidays the town was quiet. Everyone has people, kids, family.

I tried to be motivated. 

I met a few new people and got to spend time with them.

New Years came and went.

I returned to work as Solar girl, and damn has that been busy and keeping me on my toes!

My mood still flat, sad and conflicted.

Then pure devastation struck and set in. Nemo.
My beautiful 16 year old fur baby suddenly got up and couldn’t walk properly. She kept falling or turning in circles, always to the left. She wanted food and water but couldn’t get there without leaning on a wall to help her move.
We went straight to the vets.
I was a complete mess, crying on the floor of the room watching my baby girl trying to walk around but completely dependent on the wall. 

The vet was no help.
Couldn’t tell me much and gave me 3 options. The second was to put her to sleep. 

Alone on the floor I cried for what seemed like hours as I spent time with Nemo.
Then I noticed, she wasn’t done with this life yet. She started to improve.
So I took the third option and she was given an injection of cortisone and we came home.
She recovered slowly. I was scared to leave the house.
After talking to others, I think Nemo had a stroke.
Just when I thought she was going to be ok, she has turned into an aggressive old lady that attacks when you get too close. I have created 2 cat caves for her to hide in. She is safe and can sleep. She jumps and hisses at any shadow now.
She is eating and drinking plenty. And I get glimpses of her every now and then as I get cuddles and demands for food. 

I just constantly wonder if she is in pain? Is this the right thing for her? Am I being a cruel and horrible cat mother?

I am not myself at the moment.
Constantly worrying about Nemo.

Speculating on a conflict.

Concerned I am not working on my business.

Doubting my solar knowledge and efforts. 

Stressing about finances and the new house build.

Anxious. Very very anxious. 

I’d say my anxiety is extremely high. 

So I say hello to you 2022. I see you wish to challenge and push me, this roller coaster ever winding. I will get through all this. I will figure out the way. 

For all of you out there I say:

Stay beautiful.

Find the strength.

Walk your path. 

And thank you from the bottom of my heart.